how painful □□□□that must be □□□□ for it to t □□□□ake 20+ year □□□□s ruminating □□□□... the best □□□□ and only wa □□□□y to get thr □□□□ough is to g □□□□o through. t □□□□hen one day □□□□the wall you □□□□ thought wou □□□□ld never fal □□□□l down is no □□□□t there. □□□□